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Everwhere: Black dawn
02/11/09 || Lord K Philipson
According to their website this is how “Black Dawn” has scored in some of today’s media:
Metal Revolution Webzine (English) – 81/100
Slayers Metal Reviews (English) – 89%
In the Blog of the Cripple King (English) – 3.5/5
Ice-Vajal (English) 8/10
You should never trust the media as a whole, you should only trust Gobal Domination. So, let’s get these guys off their high fucken horses, shall we?
Lame moniker – check. Swedish – check. Shit vocals – check. Shit production – check. Bland songs – check. Uninteresting riffs – check. Frog-legs – check.
Everwhere is not a good band by any means. Their semi thrash metal is melodic, unfocused and generally boring as shit. Whoever’s playing those guitar solos at least seem to know a little about guitar playing, but not even that helps. I’ll get to the bad things more in a bit, but first lemme just say that when a band hails from the same suburb that spawned bands and artists such as Yngwie J. Malmsteen, Excruciate and Therion, you at least get some jumps at the Hope-o-Meter. Upplands Väsby’s always been a good place for Swedish musicians.
“I am a two-faced monster. I am a two-faced bitch!” (from “Two-faced”)
I believe that is what the Vocalist of Suck tries to convince me of. I’m convinced about one thing and it is that the guy kinda fucken shouldn’t be singing in a wannabe thrash metal band. It’s not like he’s singing singing either. This is no Russ Anderson or, thank Satan, Sean Killian. This dude here would be better off in a shitty black metal band from Asstown, NY, with that tone. Nope. Fail on pretty much all accounts.
The weak-sauce thrash metal does nothing for me, and prolly not for you either. It’s not sounding dated enough to actually be considered “cool” by us old fuckers who lived the scene at the time. It’s not sounding fresh enough to impress anyone who grew up with The Haunted. As you can see, Everwhere’s got themselves a huge fucken problem – they don’t fit in anywhere. Or should I say that they don’t fit in ever(y)where?
That was funny as shit.
With some luck it sounds like they could actually cook up a decent riff or even a tune, given some time. How about 5 years? You know what, Everwhere – get back to Global Domination in 5 years and let us hear something that actually has some fucken heart put into it. In the meantime, practice those Zakk Wylde pinch-harmonics (or whatever the fuck they are supposed to be called) as well coz those are weak too.
If you doubt my superior metal knowledge and what I have written in this review you can download this demo for free at this location. And no, you don’t need to get back to me and tell me I was completely right in this coverage – I already know that.
- Information
- Released: 2009
- Website: www.everwhere.se
- Band
- Jonas Blomquist: vocals, lead guitars
- Mikko Vartiainen: rhythm guitars
- Jherry Karlsson: bass
- Mika Määttä: drums
- Tracklist
- 01. Your Time Will Come
- 02. Claustrophobic
- 03. Awake
- 04. Black Dawn
- 05. Two-face
